Just back from docs. had been planning on going to work today but saw my Mum last night and she reckoned it's time I was treated as an in patient...

Relayed events of the last two weeks to the doc (lovely woman!) and the upshot is that I'll probably be admitted to a private clinic (hoping parents will pay, if not I'll have to use savings) on Monday. Being treated for eating, drinking and self harm issues.

Feel very fucking relieved to be honest!

The boy and Mum are both devestated. Feel very very fucking guilty. I just want to remove myself from the world for a bit. Fade into the background and not be for a while.

I'm happy to come back when I'm skinny and sane...